ADHD, Mental Health

vent

There is seriously only one group of facebook for ADHD, everything else is geared towards parents of children with ADHD. I want to remove myself from the group I am in, because I am quickly learning that they are all about the drama. Everything is “Is (insert random thing here) because I have ADHD?”  and all they talk about is meds. Everything about meds. Like every post is about meds. When they take them, what they are on, what they want to be on. Side effects and everything else under the sun. Just not a very educational forum. Unless you want to know about meds.

Pondered the idea of starting a group, but I don’t feel right doing that because I am at the beginning of my journey and I’m looking to learn. I’m not knowledgeable enough to start a group. So I guess I will hit the ol library this week and see what I can find. Evidently, I am on this road alone.

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ADHD, Mental Health

Exercise

First and foremost, I start my training tomorrow for the crisis counselor position. 🙂 I’m very much looking forward to it!

 

There! Now that I got that out of the way, onto my post.

Exercise. It is not something I am opposed to, but it is something that is difficult for me to get motivated to do. However, I NEED to get back to walking.

I was doing more searching today on how to treat/cope with ADHD without medication and the one thing they suggest that I am not currently doing is exercise. Exercise increases dopamine. This is something I am also supposed to be doing for better sleep (which I am fine in that area now), weight, and mental health. Since so many parts of my health is dependant upon it, I think it is time to get my ass in gear.

In the past, I have not really noticed much of a difference in my mental health after exercise. But I have done it it because I’m told that it helps. I just kept waiting for it to help. Exercise is the last thing I can do for my ADHD on a very short list of things you can do non-medicinaly for the ADHD. So, it is almost my last hope.

Tomorrow starts the exercising. Wish me luck.

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random update

I need to stay away from my laptop before I have had my first cup of coffee in the morning. I made a second car payment this morning. My car payment was due yesterday and I kept reminding my husband to pay it. I thought he never did, because I didn’t see him do it. Turns out he made the payment after I went to bed last night. I made a payment this morning, not paying attention to the due date (which showed Feb.). I was looking through our bank statement online (after my first cup of coffee) and noticed a car payment that came out of our checking account (I paid from savings). It all came together. I checked the loan account and sure enough, 2 car payments were made.

I absolutely HATE when I do stupid stuff like this. The good thing is now we don’t have to make a payment next month. But the bad thing is, we could have used that 200 for something (we have a couple of memberships that are about to expire and getting them renewed now would have been nice.)

I have done nothing constructive today, aside from making a double car payment. LOL I have church in about an hour, and I didn’t want to get involved with laundry and then have to leave. So I am going to start on laundry tonight after dinner and then finish it tomorrow. I am going to try and get my hair cut on Monday. It is getting too long to do anything with so time for a cut.

We are having meatballs and mac and cheese for dinner tonight. I am actually making them from scratch so dinner is going to be a little late. I won’t be home from church until after 5 and that is when I usually start cooking. Hubby is sick (no date night last night *sad panda*) otherwise I would have had him prepping and starting dinner.

It is warm outside, the artic snap has finally gone away, which means I will be able to start my car this whole week and I am super excited! But they are calling for rain and possible flooding due to the rain and melting snow.

Moodwise I am in a good place. Only a tiny bit bored.

ADHD, Mental Health

Brick Wall

I’ve ran into a brick wall as far as my ADHD dx goes. I’m not having any luck finding ways to deal with the things that come along with it. I have asked for suggestions in a group I am in on Facebook with no luck and most of them are medicated and that is pretty much all they talk about. I’ve looked for groups of non medicated ADHD-ers and there is only one group on Facebook and it is more geared towards not medicating your children. I have done some searching on the net and most of the things they suggest I already do or does not apply to me.

Charting my days, it appears as though my biggest problems are memory (forgetting things ) and the spinning in my head (energy). There has been instances of attention issues like doing something and then not realizing I’ve actually done it. But that is just what I have charted since my nurse told me to. About 2 weeks.

When I asked my daughter how she deals with things she said she just does. I can’t do that. I need a process. I have to have someway to process all of this and find ways to counteract my common issues since I don’t have medication to help me at the moment, and I’ll probably never will if I want to be honest with myself.

So while I have had 12 or so years to get a grip on the Bipolar, I’m just glad I have ways to deal with things. This ADHD is a completely new world for me, even though I have two kids with it. I’d better get cracking on trying to find ways to deal with these issues. I am just at a loss.

 

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Pretty

I think being pretty is a state of mind. It is being self-confident about your appearance inside as well as out. I have not felt pretty for a few weeks now. I’m not depressed. I just see unattractive when I look in the mirror. I have never thought I was a looker. Maybe in my younger years I could say I was pretty. But there is nothing remarkable about the way I look. My face is round and aged. I have a double chin. My nose is ok. My eyes are unremarkable even though they are green. Add to it now that I have short hair which doesn’t make me look feminine at all. I’m over weight. I am pale. And I need new glasses. Make-up doesn’t improve anything. As a matter of fact, they way my eyes are inlaid, you can’t even tell I am wearing makeup when I am wearing make up, so I don’t even know why I wear it. Well, I do know… because it makes me feel pretty.

While I am not currently down on myself, it might sound like I am with all of the negative talk. But it isn’t negative talk. It is fact. I am just being honest with myself.

On the inside I am beautiful. I am confident in that fact. On the outside though, there is nothing special about me.

It’s just something I’ve noticed over the last couple of weeks. I’m not sad about it. I have accepted it.

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all I wanna do…

All I wanted to do was get out of the house today. Take a drive around town, take myself out to lunch. But no… my car still won’t start. Guess it is still too cold. It is only 12 degrees out so I’m not surprised, but I was hoping. So, in the meantime, I’m brewing some coffee and going to find SOMETHING to occupy my time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ADHD, Mental Health

round and round

I’ve been having a rough time today. Bipolar wise I’m good. No problems there. Instead, I am having ADHD issues today. And I find these to be quite aggravating because I haven’t found ways to deal with this stuff yet.

I’m overcome with boredom. My head is spinning and I can’t make it stop or even slow down long enough to get some interest in something. I’ve been listening to music for a couple of hours now. I couldn’t find the right genre. So I settled on some Dead Can Dance.

The kids stayed home today (snowday) and the hubby stayed home and did work from home today. So I haven’t had a day to myself in a good week if not longer. This makes doing my routine difficult. Why, I have no idea. I feel like people are in my way even though they are not. I got the basics done, but it took me all day to get there.

I want to do so many things, but when I start them I end up getting bored with them. Which is very different from losing interest or having no interest at all. I want to read so bad! I started reading an H.P. Lovecraft anthology. I’ve got 1 page in. GO ME!

I wanted to start crocheting. But I have forgotten the stitch, so I would have to watch the youtube video again. Can’t do it.

I just wish I could find a way to make this whirlwind in my head stop.