So, that past couple of days have been good mentally. Prior to that I’ve pretty much been in a depression. And on Friday, I got the call… You know the call, “We need to reschedule your appointment because the Dr. isn’t going to be in on that day.” call.  I was noticably upset, because the receptionist was trying her best (with excuses) to assure me this couldn’t be helped and she had a tone of “I’m sorry” in her voice. But the kicker? ONE MONTH AWAY FROM MY ORIGINAL APPOINTMENT WAS THE DR FIRST AVAILABLE OPENING! Really? Are ya fucking serious? Here I have been asking for prayers to get me through to my appointment in April, talking myself out of, to the best of my ability, of going nuts, and/or falling into the deep abyss, and now? Now I have to wait for another damn month!?!?!?

I can’t say I was surprised.  My mother, on the other hand, was LIVID. And I had to explain to her that this is normal in the world of Mental Health. “Why do you think so many people off themselves, mom? It’s because they can’t get in to see their Dr!”

This time around, I have a lot more support. But with that comes the burden of having to explain to everyone how it really is, what I really  have to go through, and why it is so important that I get support. And that, in and of itself is EXHAUSTING!

On the plus side, I was placed on the cancellation list. Which presents itself with another slew of problems. Because obviously I want to take any cancellation I can get. But that Also means, I have to be prepared for that call at ANY TIME, and there is a large possibility that they will call when I am in the middle of something that I can’t get out of (like when I am waiting to pick my son up from his tutoring session, or when I am in the middle of the grocery store with a cart full and all the checkout lines are full.)

So, here is to waiting another MONTH to go through all the BS you go through when you see a new doc.


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