Numb

I guess I’m feeling numb today. I want to talk about something fun and/or exciting. Something — interesting and intelligent.  But, I have zip, zero, zilch, nada. It is a grey and rainy day today. I spent most of the morning in bed. Made myself get up around noon and hop in the shower, because I had to take my daughter somewhere. Or so I thought. Apparently somewhere between the last time I spoke to her last night (right before I went to bed) and to minutes to 1 today, she apparently changed her mind. Gee, thanks. And this shit always happens. I had to make alternate plans to pick up my son from tutoring; which meant my husband had to take off work early to go get him. You know, the guy that makes the income for the family. I’m kinda pissed about it to be perfectly honest.

Today I’m feeling stuck. I need to make decisions about how I want to live. Today, I’m too fat. Today I am pissed at the lady who cut my hair two weeks ago, because TODAY I don’t like it. Today, I’m a loser and a dead weight, Today I’m worthless. So, maybe that is why I can’t think of anything “good” to talk about.

So, now that I’m talking about it, maybe I’m a little depressed. But yet, I’m not. These are just thoughts in my head today. My heart doesn’t feel sad, my mood isn’t sad. Just my thoughts.

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