Not Sure What To Do

So my youngest son, who is 11, has shown a love of fire a couple times this week. He has been diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder as well as ADHD minus the hyperactivity (I had no idea that you could have ADHD and NOT be hyper, but you can, as I just found out recently…. I always wondered why they just didn’t say he had ADD). In all the testing write up, the testing doctor said that my son had the propensity of getting into trouble as he gets older.

We have not medicated our son as of yet, and he was diagnosed last summer. My husband is a big anti-meds kinda guy, and I am of the opinion, if you need it, take it. But we both felt that he didn’t need any medication at the point when we found out his diagnosis.

However, I have begun to worry. He can not focus when doing homework, he is easily distracted, and…. he is constantly doing stupid shit and getting in trouble. And now, he keeps setting fire to trash in the basement. He has done this twice this week. Now, as a youngster, he had a fascination with fire as well. But, I thought it was just a kid thing; curious and what not, and he was 4-ish at the time.

I have spoken with the husband about the current goings on (because, ya know…. he is never home). I asked him if he thought it was time for a Dr. visit and maybe think about meds or perhaps therapy again. “No, I will just have a talk with him.”

Well, genius, I have talked to him twice now about this whole fire thing. It doesn’t seem to have sunk in. And I keep getting on him about doing stupid shit, that he KNOWS he shouldn’t be doing (a lot of destructive behavior).

I have to second guess myself because being Bipolar, I tend to jump to conclusions. I tend to panic over little things, and so now, I’m wondering if I am making a mountain out of a molehill. As you can imagine, it is difficult living with a person who is anti-medication, and has nothing mentally wrong with them. He can be quite understanding and supportive when he can actually see me breakdown, but he can’t and will never understand the daily struggle of trying to keep on a happy, normal face, and trying to be normal all the time…. Essentially, he will never know what it means to live as two different people and to never actually be who you are because you have to hide things/feelings from others who just don’t get it.

I’m looking for suggestions and perhaps some insight. If any of you are parents of a child with ADHD and/or Auditory Processing Disorder, how would you go about tackling this issue?

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4 thoughts on “Not Sure What To Do”

  1. I am sorry you are going through this with your son. When I was young and new there was something wrong with me, and I always wanted it fixed. But, I had parents like your husband that thought meds are wrong, and things would just go way. Well, guess what, they don’t, and I hated my parents for making me suffer all those years. I am not in love with the idea of living on meds, but I do think that trying them is a good idea. Most people fear pdocs and meds because they are afraid of what others will think. My parents understand now that I need meds, but they are ashamed of it, and don’t speak of it to others. I hope you find the answer you are looking for, and that your son lives a “normal”, happy life.

    1. Thanks Garry. You have known me long enough to know, that it is a daily struggle to live with my husband in the arena. Thankfully our son seems to be doing ok right now, but I AM keeping a hawks eye on him. And I decided I will make the executive decision when it comes down to it.

  2. Thank you for your response. I am trying to find some good information on Auditory Processing Disorder. I am finding it difficult to find — but still looking. And as far as the ADHD aspect of it, my husband doesn’t believe in that either. My oldest daughter (Now 20) also has it, and he thinks it is just an excuse for not paying attention to things. Invisible Illness has been something I have struggled with him to see/understand for a very long time. At least the past 8 years of our marriage. I am hoping that once I start to see my psychiatrist, that maybe I can figure something out.

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