My, my, my


It’s been a rough while. Things have not been good in my head. And the above image captures my feelings quite perfectly. Right now I am listening to my Megadeath CD Countdown to Extinction. My head needs to….. hurt? It needs to release all the emptiness in it that is annoying my head, or I need to drowned it all out. Today it is empty, either empty or still full of all the other shit that has been in my head and bogging me down, that I don’t even notice it anymore. I want to feel pain. I want to feel something….. anything… but nothing good please.

I feel a bit better today, only because I finally got some sleep last night. Since I am out of my meds, I took an old Lunesta and that did the trick. Tried to get a nap today but was unsuccessful.

I just want to go away. I want to be left alone. I want to suffer in silence but at the same time I want everyone to acknowledge and even feel my pain. I do believe this is the most fucked up I have ever been.

My legs are restless. Hell, I am restless. It is hard for me to get comfortable at night. But I eventually do.

It has been a very, very, bad week. I’m just trying to hold on without  killing hurting someone.

Enjoy the music therapy below….


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