Let’s Talk About Sex

I just want to talk about this, because not many people do.

When you have bipolar disorder, your whole life becomes bipolar. You are either on or off, hot or cold. I am usually off or cold. Not by choice, but by factors. Depression doesn’t really make you feel desirable or in the mood. A lot of meds we take kill your desire. This is how I live my life. I will be honest, it sucks. Of course that all goes out the window if I am manic or on an upswing. It is then that I become a sexual beast!

So how do you fix this?

I have no idea. I’m still looking for the answer to that question. I am just happy I am with a partner that doesn’t hold this against me. We make jokes about it. Like when we buy a new box of condoms: “Well, we are set for another year!”. It hurts to make jokes like that. But the only thing I CAN do is laugh about it. Take it as is comes and roll with the punches.

You have to learn to still love who you are despite this horrible issue. It takes a toll on your psyche. You wonder why this has to happen to you. Why do you have to be non-functional. Oh and let’s talk about when you are in the mode and you can’t reach a climax so you just give up. because that is just depressing! And if you let it, it can turn a romantic bonding time, into a moment of rage with feelings of inadequacy intertwined within.

For me, I just accept it for what it is. I don’t like it, not one bit! But I accept it and continue trying to live my life. If the opportunity arises that I am in the mood, I grab it by the horns and seize the opportunity.

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