What is this “Sleep” you speak of?

(c) san smith san-smith.com

Here we go again.

My sleep is crap again. I blame it on the Latuda. Because it all started up again after I started this med. I was supposed to take my dose at dinner. And then I noticed there was a problem. I wasn’t tired. And taking it 4 hours before bed, was probably not a good idea. When I had my appointment with the psych nurse, we discussed this problem, and she suggested I take it with a big breakfast instead. Because I tried taking it with lunch, and I still had a sleep issue.

But this sleep issue is different. I am not waking up every hour or two hours. I go to bed around 9pm normally. I take my sleeping pill, Sonata, around 8pm. I fall asleep well, and then I wake up feeling refreshed at MIDNIGHT!

I wake up, thinking it must be 5am at best. I check my phone to see the time, and it is 12:30 am. FOR FUCKS SAKE! REALLY!?!?!?!?!

So, I manage to fall back asleep for another 4 or 5 hours, and wake up before my alarm.

This morning when I got up at 4, I was pissed. This shit has got to stop. Might as well get up, because laying in bed, listening to the husband snore, wasn’t making things any better. And it’s not because he was snoring, although that CAN be annoying. It was because I was jealous. There he lies, in slumber land, having a nice peaceful sleep, while I am wide-fucking-awake. It’s just not fair.

I am allowed to take 2 sleeping pills at night, when needed. But “only when needed, because you can become dependent upon it for sleep”, as the pdoc told me.

Bitch, don’t go there! I have been on a plethora of pills that one can become addicted to. Pills are not “my thing”. The only thing I was remotely addicted to was my seroquel. I was on such a high dose, that that shit made me high, and I was such a ball of anger and racing thoughts, that I couldn’t wait to take it at night and be enveloped in my safe-haven of incoherent babbling, drooling, carb consuming, self.

I don’t see the pdoc until Jan. 19

I need a horse tranquilizer to get me to sleep and KEEP me asleep.

Can I get an “Amen”!?!?!?

p.s. the graphic atop of my post belongs to san smith at http://san-smith.com


3 thoughts on “What is this “Sleep” you speak of?”

  1. Amen! Have you tried an 8 hour pill? I had to switch off of Sonata for the same reason. It’s not a cure all but it makes a difference.

    1. I have been on a plethora of sleeping pills. I have been on two 8-hour pills; Ambien CR which was like popping sugar pills, and Lunesta. The Lunesta worked great, except I couldn’t tolerate the metallic taste in my mouth 24/7. As my desperation took hold, I asked my current pdoc to put me back on Lunesta, but my insurance wouldn’t authorize the rx unless I tried something else. Gotta love insurance companies!

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