Going Up!

(Sing to the tune of “We’re Having a Heatwave”)
I’m having an upswing! A glorious upswing!

And as I’m going up, up, and away, I’m realizing I need a new way to cope. And it is driving me batty.

Back in the day, when I was on a million and a half pills, I would pop a seroquel to stop this shit in it’s tracks. Well, I can’t do that now. Well, I technically could, because I have Seroquel at my disposal.

But I want to avoid that if at all possible. Because I am hoping I will crash any minute now. But then again, I kinda hope not. Because I love mania, but I also hate it.

I hate feeling all buzzy in my body. But I like being energized and “happy”, and goofy, and light-hearted. I like throwing caution to the wind, and doing whatever pops into my head! But I hate the consequences of my stupid, stupid, careless actions.

So, it’s best that I stay inside my safe home, utilizing this energy to do something productive like, laundry. It’s best that I talk myself down, and remind myself that this will eventually pass, and hope it passes before I have to go to bed tonight.

You know, it takes a special kind of person to have to live with this disorder. Not everyone could handle this shit. Hell, I can’t even handle it most days.

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