Muckity Muck

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I think this picture sums it all up. I’m feeling a little blah. Hubby noticed last night. He said I looked like I had had enough of people for one day. I am hoping it is just this cold/allergies that has me feeling down. I’m not suicidal and not having such thoughts, but I do feel very melancholy which is just a total bummer.

I am going to attempt to get my work done today for class on Sunday. But I feel like it is going to be an uphill battle.

I hate that I have to take meds; I hate that my thyroid doesn’t work, so I need a med for that. I hate that I am in pain 24/7 so I need a pill for the stupid fibromyalgia. I hate that my mentality is off kilter and is bipolar and I have to take a pill to make me “normal”. I seem to have a lot of hate today.

I have random thoughts in my head about things that piss me off; like how people think kids with ADD or ADHD only need attention – there is nothing wrong with them. Yeah, try having two kids with that, and tell me that you still feel that way. I’m pissed off that my husband doesn’t put his family first 95% of the time. It makes me mad that my daughter didn’t finish (or even start) her Flat Stanley project, and it was due yesterday, and she didn’t decide to be concerned about it until 10pm last night. I am starting to wonder if applying for jobs online is the way to go or if I should just physically fill out applications at places.

I’m just a muddy muck today.

I hope I find a way out of this funk.

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