I don’t have hallucinations very often. If and when I do have them, they are usually bugs on my wall or a movie playing on my wall. Sometimes they come out of the blue, with no help from stress or lack of sleep. Other times they are stress or med related. I usually have no problems talking about them, because I know they are hallucinations, and thus, part of the disease.
Except the one I recently had. I’ve been sitting on it for awhile. Trying to figure it out. How did it come about. Did it mean something? Should I mention it to my doc?
I will mention it to my doc, because like I said, they don’t happen often. I *might* have 6 in a whole year, total, if that.
I will preface this with my dreams. I’ve been having odd dreams. And for me that is saying something! My dreams have been laced with religious undertones. I’ve had dreams of talking to nuns. I have dreams about watching nuns run, and most recently I was talking to the devil himself.
Which brings me to my hallucination.
I woke up in the middle of the night, like I usually do, and rolled over. Lying in my bed was not my husband, but Jesus Christ. Long hair, beard, and all.
My initial reaction was…. “What. the. fffff….” Then an internal dialog of “That is Jesus!” “Why is Jesus in my bed?” “What the hell is happening?”
I wasn’t scared, I was more perplexed.
He didn’t talk to me. He didn’t acknowledge me. He just laid there, eyes closed.
And then the hair and beard started to drop away, like little pixels, just dropping and fading into the atmosphere to revel my husband, whom has a shaved head and no facial hair.
I told my husband about it and I told my best friend about it. Both had different reactions. He responded like no big deal. though I wonder what he was REALLY thinking. My bestie laughed, as she does. She is just happy there is someone who is crazier than her. I’m ok with that.