Just being

Nothing bipolar-ish going on. Apparently it is currently in check for today. Yesterday and today I have been making a great effort to make people understand how much I appreciate them. I try my best to live by appreciating everything around me, accepting the bad with the good, and trying my hardest to see the good in everything, if at the least everyone’s perspective. I think I do a decent job. I try to pass these acts onto my kids…

Yes, I have bad days. We all do. But I really let those bad days get to me. So, when I’m in a good place, I try to be super appreciative.

Dad goes in for pre-op testing tomorrow. Mom has him on bed-rest today because he has been having some kind of pain. I can’t help but think he is suffering from anxiety, because it is not his normal pain that he has when he needs a nitro pill, it’s more like tightness and pressure; the way he described it was it felt like he was laying on his stomach and his fists where pressed into his chest. An EKG will be conducted tomorrow, I’m curious how it will turn out. I hope they don’t decide to make his surgery date sooner, but if they do, I guess he needs it. I just worry. He’s my dad. And while he might not have been there a lot while growing up, and we have had our differences, I still love that man with every fiber of my being and would lose it if he were to go. Nay, I say I could actually be institutionalized over it.

I did manage to get my husband to agree to go with me to the hospital. This relieves me greatly! And I talked to my BFF and she offered to watch my daughter for me so she wouldn’t have to be home with the boys. The boys will be fine alone for the day (They are 13 and 16 — didn’t wan’t y’all to think that they weren’t of age. Gotta be careful with that kind of stuff these days, people call CPS over everything.)

So, at this point… I am just being. And I’m ok with that.

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