Sweet, sweet, slumber

I have been out of my Sonata for about 4 or 5 days now. They (pharmacies) always have to do a special Prior Authorization on these, because my dosage is to take ” one or two” at bedtime. It is that way, because some nights, one doesn’t cut it and I need 2. In the interim, I have been taking benadryl before bed. Then I remembered the other night that I have some Amytriptaline left over from an old prescription. The past two nights I have taken it, my sleep has sucked. It takes me FOREVER to get to sleep. Last night I had little 30 minute naps. Then I remembered why these were left over and why I stopped taking them. *sigh*

I checked my pharmacy web page to see the status of the order, and they expect to ship it out tomorrow. BUT… I have to pay my 160 dollar balance before they send me more meds. So, I need to see if I can pay that or not. This paycheck is supposed to go to our big bills, but it sounds like we are going to have to use the next paycheck for that instead.

This is one of the major bummers about being on meds, and NEEDING them to function like a normal human being. For me, I feel this horrible sense of guilt (My up-keep costs too much, my husband deserves so much better…. yadda yadda yadda..). Does anyone else feel guilty? I mean, I am super thankful that I at least have insurance, but I feel like I’m one of those that falls through the cracks.

We are on the lower end of middle class, and on paper, my husband makes a lot of money. Which is one of the reasons I can’t draw SSI/SSDI. We can’t get assistance of any kind, because he makes too much money. But damn it, life happens, bills need to be paid, kids need to be taken care of (example, we just had to drop 125 bucks for our son’s contact lenses this week), and we need food on the table.

I had this great idea to start a non profit to help people get their meds, for just this reason. Something happens during the week/month, and they don’t have money for their meds, then they could come to my non profit for assistance. After talking to my father in law about this idea, I think I need to put A LOT more thought into this. I’m not even sure it is a possible thing to do. Especially with HIPPA laws, and there would have to be some way to weed out the people in need from the people who are just looking for free money or use it for drugs.

But at this point in time, my sleep is bad. Which makes my naps too long. I literally slept all day yesterday, which really pissed me off. But, it is what it is.

Tonight I will just take some benadryl. No more amytriptaline.

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1 thought on “Sweet, sweet, slumber”

  1. Ugh! Not getting proper sleep is the absolute worst torture. I also battle with affordability of meds. Its the biggest stressor in my life. If I wasn’t sick, I’d be able to go away for weekends or even save up for a nice holiday. But its scrimp and scrape by so I can be ‘normal’ and functional enough to keep my job and earn the money to buy the meds I can’t afford. Vicious circle? Mhmmmm

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