Some days are easier than others. But, today was not one of them. It wasn’t a horrible day, but it was a roller coaster for sure.
It all started with me taking a “short nap” that lasted all day. I have forgotten that my meds for fibromyalgia make me drowsy during the day. My phone was ringing off the hook. I finally wake up at 1:30 and listen to my message. It was from the lady who does the delivery for the produce baskets that I ordered on Wednesday. I had thought I missed this Friday’s drop off because I ordered passed the deadline, but after I shot my husband out the door to go get our veggies, I find out that the lady wanted to make sure we got our veggies today since we are first time customers. I plan on giving her and extra 10 next week, because she was on her way to another drop off location, and turned around to go back to our drop off location to give us our veggies. *sigh*
In between that, and trying to wake up by pumping some coffee in my veins, I see that my sister had tried to call, but left me several text messages to call and check on my dad. I guess he is having a hard time keeping it together with his upcoming surgery. He has been reading the information that the hospital gave to him about the procedure, and he just breaks down crying. So I call my parent’s and my mom tells me that my dad is napping and she was heading that way herself. I told her I would call later.
Then while I was on the phone with my mom, her friend texted me to tell me about her doctors appointment (for you avid readers of the blog, this is my mom’s friend who has bipolar). I replied and am keeping my door open if she needs to talk.
Then my mom calls back… I talked to her for about an hour. She broke down and cried, and she needed to. She has been my dad’s rock and is keeping a strong face on for my dad. But I called her out on it today. Told her it was ok to NOT be ok. I also told her to call me if she needed to talk. When I was on the phone with her, my dad woke up from his nap. I told her I would call him after dinner…
At this point, I really needed my best friend. But I didn’t want to call her, because today is her son’s birthday, and they were going to Kentucky for the weekend. I didn’t want to put a damper on a happy day.
I made dinner. I had two small tuna salad lettuce wraps (totally NOT 350 calories, so I couldn’t take my Latuda!). The only other thing I had to eat today was an egg sandwich for breakfast (also NOT 350 calories).
It dawned on me that it was already 7 pm, so I called my dad. Talked to him for about 1/2 hour or so. We had a good talk. His main worry about surgery is the amount of pain he is going to be in, and that they are going to get him hooked on pain pills and they won’t give him anymore for the pain. I totally don’t begrudge him for feeling this way. They are cracking his chest open for goodness sakes!
After I got off the phone with my dad, I’m still not hungry, but I need to take my Latuda. So, I go to my “go-to” for these kinds of occasions, my greek yogurt. And since I am out of granola, I cut up half a banana to put in it. TOTALLY 350 calories. Do you know how hard it is to eat when you are not hungry?? I mean, I truly didn’t realize how hard it was. I used to eat ALL THE TIME, but now, food does not interest me. But I force myself to make my daily 350 calories to get my Latuda in me. Yogurt is easier to go down than something I have to chew. It’s a good day if I eat more than 350 calories.
I’m working hard on keeping an eye on this situation. I’m hoping I can get more food down in me than 350 calories. Who can live off of 350 calories???
It’s ok. I’m a work in progress. This was just a very topsy turvey day. I truly feel like I’ve had my “in session” sign above my head all day.