Motivation has left the building. I hope it comes back soon. I was doing so well. But, I can’t beat myself up over it. I have to accept it, hope for better days, and move on.
I wish I could put a shield up around me that would repel everything that makes me drained. It goes far beyond recognizing things that will make me feel this way and simply staying away from them. It is more so about learning more about me and my triggers. Even after riding this bipolar coaster for as long as I have, and just when I thought I had it all figured out, something comes out of left field and surprises me. There is a line in a Dead Can Dance song… “We are chaos in motion” Isn’t that the damn truth!?!
In my mind, I pull myself up by my boot-straps, and try to carry on. I get the boot straps up, but it seems like that takes all of my strength. But that is ok. Like I said, I’m still learning. And if you take anything away from this post today, besides a really good line from a song, take this: The learning curve is vast, and we never stop learning.