Went to my parents house yesterday for a cook out. Had a great time, except for the drive there and the drive back. I did take my anxiety meds, so my anxiety wasn’t AS bad, but it was still very bad. I just don’t know what I am going to do when we go on vacation. I have an appointment with my doc a few days before we leave, so I guess I am going to ask her what to do about this. Otherwise I will end up a blubbering mess on the floorboard of the car. I need some heavy sedation, seriously!
I spent about 40 minutes outside this morning weeding our bush garden. That is what I call it. We have Blue Juniper bushes around our property in the front and there was a mess of weeds and rogue trees that needed to be removed, because it looks like crap. I have never sweated so much in my life! I can’t remember if I shared this here or not, but apparently my meds cause higher body temps. So, I can’t be out in the heat/sun for long periods of time, otherwise I can get heatstroke. This is going to cause a bit of a problem for vacation. I am going to see if I can find one of those portable battery operated fans to wear around my neck, and carry around a washcloth to wipe my sweat off. It is SO EMBARRASSING! Since I’m over-weight, I feel like people think it is just because I’m fat that I am sweating so much. Which is NOT the case. My family has some kind of health issue that already causes increased body core temp. So I have that, on top of being fat, on top of med issues. With all this sweating you think I’d be skinny! Nope, just dehydrated. LOL
Tomorrow I go to my family doc appointment, and then to do my background check. And I already decided I am wearing my pretty orange sundress tomorrow, even though I hate wearing a dress and driving a truck.
I have been doing great with the Latuda increase though. Which really makes me happy. No depression so far, not even a tiny moment of it. No suicidal thoughts, which is FANFUCKINGTASTIC! And my motivation is improving! I’m taking chances on getting out and doing more, but I’m still fighting anxiety. I’m just happy to get that depressed monkey off my back!
Now if I can get my sleep on track, I’d be in heaven!