For the most part my (summer)anxieties are under control. I am much better about going outside now in the summer. I used to not go outside because I was terrified I was going to get stung by a bee or wasp. I didn’t even let the kids out when they were little. Now I keep 3 cans of wasp killer on hand at all times, since we get them in our back patio all the time.
However, my anxieties have shifted. I am already ramped up about the 9 hour drive that we will be taking to North Carolina in July. I have an appointment on the 12 (4 days before we leave) and I am going to ask my pdoc for something like valium or xanax or SOMETHING, just for the ride there and the ride back. When we went to my parents house last weekend (which is an hour away), I was on the verge of tears. I managed to keep myself sane, but drove my husband batty with all my “Watch out for that car. Watch out for that truck. Why are you driving so fast? GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH what is wrong with these fucking drivers out on the road?!?!?!!?” comments. There is no way in Hades that I will last a 9 hour drive on the Buspar. I am on a low dose, and I read it can be increased by 5mg in several day increments. I ain’t got no time for that! It may come down to having a few drinks before we leave if she doesn’t give me anything.
I’m also having anxiety about money. Hubby gets paid the Friday we are down there. Which is great, we will be sure to have money to get home (we are leaving to head back home SATURDAY). Right now we have a tiny bit in savings, that I don’t want to touch, and I want to keep adding to each payday until the day we leave, but that will only bring us up to 700 bucks. No, we can’t really afford to go on vacation at all this year. But there is no way we can call it off. We can never really afford it. But my husband only sees his parents 2 times a year; on summer vacation and during the holidays.
I’m also thinking about my birthday and how to celebrate. I thought about having a BBQ at my house, but that would be a lot of work and cost a couple hundred bucks. If we go out to eat, same thing… a couple hundred bucks (because I want to invite people, but I don’t want to invite them and say “Hey you gotta pay for your own meal”), I thought about going to the zoo. BUT… that calls for an hour drive to either Cincinnati or Columbus, and both have crappy traffic. So I’m to the point where I just wont do anything for my birthday and say screw it.
By the way, my birthday is the day after father’s day, which makes it difficult to plan anything anyways.
Why can’t I be like Elsa and just let it go?
Any alternative ideas on how to calm down really bad anxiety. Do you think motion sickness pills will work? A handfull of antihistimines? I’m planning on bringing my coloring books, kindle for music/reading to keep my mind occupied on something other than the road. I need some serious advice here readers! 🙂