Riding that wave

Another great day in my world! I feel great, aside from the pain in my jaw. I’ve been productive, which makes me super happy! But I’m still dealing with some demons. But it is all good, because I am in the right frame of mind to process it all.

See, I have this guy, who is a friend, who I used to date before I got with my husband. We have remained friends. But I have come to realize the relationship is toxic. I won’t go into specifics, but it is time for me to sever ties and put an end to the abuse. I use the term abuse loosely, although it is what it is. He is the kind of person who expects me to be there for him when it suits him. He doesn’t bother to drop me a line and see how things are going. He couldn’t even be bothered to tell me he was getting married, I found out about it from facebook. When I need him? Forget it. It only happens if he wants it to.

I don’t need that kind of “friendship” in my life. I don’t deserve that, and he doesn’t deserve me.

We have known each other for 18/19 years. That is a long time. So I’m kind of mourning the loss. But I’m not boo-hoo-ing about it. Yes I’m hurt and disappointed. But I am happy that I have realized my self-worth. I will miss him. I haven’t decided if I should completely shut him out of my life or just remain cordial and friendly on Facebook. I haven’t gotten that far yet. And truth be told, I don’t even know if he would notice if I unfriended him on facebook.

So, being in a good place finally, has done me some good. I hope I remain in this place. I know the disease won’t be gone, and the depression or mania will creep back in at some point. But I am enjoying riding out this wave for the time being. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Riding that wave”

  1. Remember, if you feel grief, it’s because of the loss of what you wanted your friendship to be and not for what it was. There is a difference.

    Good to see you’re handling it well.

  2. Good for you realizing and celebrating your self-worth by severing ties. It’s all about self care. And since he doesn’t give a damn, you can take all that energy you giving away to him, and lavish it on yourself!

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