This evening I’ve been listening to my playlists on YouTube and feeling generally good. Then Footsteps by Pearl Jam came on and I had an epiphany. I need new memories.
I have talked very briefly about a relationship that I am still mourning. The one glue that we had was music, no one that I know loves music as much as we do/did. Every song that I love I can connect to “him” somehow. Well, as part of the “moving on” process, I think it is time to find new memories.
It is true what they say about music, it can transport you back to a certain time or place. I know, in reality, I will never forget “those” memories. And I’m not sure that I want to; they are part of my past, and what have made me…. me. But I need to start thinking about different things when I hear songs that we shared.
I’m not sure how I am going to do it, but I need to.
Part of me feels the need to send him an email and tell him I am not ok with the way he left things. But then my better judgement tells me I need to leave well enough alone. And I think I should listen to my better judgement, because if I don’t, I’m just going to create a spiral for myself. I don’t need it and I don’t want it.
It is difficult to be hurt and used and going back for more. It is even more difficult to let go. If I was a stronger person I could do it, no problem.
So, on to finding NEW memories!