Welcome to my mind today….

Yesterday was a great day, no anxiety, even when I went out to dinner with B. Today? Not so much. One less worry on my mind is that the rental car has been reserved. But this stupid “party” we have to go to tonight. *sigh*

I’ve decided to wear a casual sun dress. Of course, my outfit will probably change to my other maxi-dress that is black. Because maybe when I have to get dressed my pooch will be too visible. I have no idea what the dress code is, so I’m stressing about being over dressed, even though I will be wearing a casual sundress. And is this event going to be inside or outside. How hot is it going to be. I have to remember to bring my face cloth with me to wipe down the beads of sweat that will be coming from hot temperature and high anxiety. Is there going to be too many people there. Is there going to be enough room for me to feel “safe”. Oh hell, the questions go on and on.

I’m trying to remain in the here and now, but my to-do list for next week keeps seeping through my thoughts. When am I going to get everyone’s laundry done. What is the weather supposed to be like next week. Am I going to die from heat exhaustion by turning the a/c off so I can run the dryer.

Then even stupider stuff seeps in…. SCHOOL SUPPLIES! School will be starting soon and I need to get school supplies. Is my son planning on wearing jeans or shorts. If he is going to wear jeans I have to go buy him some new ones. How are we going to pay for last years school fees. Am I going to get enough hours working at the school. Do I have to go through the main entrance. Where do I get to park. Do we have time cards or is our time just assumed.

My mind is killing me today.

The buspar I think needs to be increased. Or maybe I need to be on something else. I hope she will give me a “rescue med” for my driving anxiety. What if she doesn’t. Gotta have a plan, dontcha know?



4 thoughts on “Welcome to my mind today….”

  1. I hope you find a way to put your mind at rest. Whenever my brain starts beating me up, my husband always says, “Get out of there. You know that’s a dangerous neighborhood.” Of course, getting out of it is easier said than done.

    I hope you enjoyed the party.

    1. I ended up not going. Husband said he understood. I felt relief and at the same time I felt like I let him down. Can’t win for losin, eh? I agree, it is a dangerous neighborhood. But that place has a vacuum! LOL Believe it or not, I’m really trying hard to work on this. Maybe it is time to get back into therapy.

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