From time to time I have revelations about my life. And I made an important one last night. Apparently my subconscious is getting lonely and needed to figure out why.

It’s no secret I keep my circle of friends extra small. I heavily reply upon my BFF to keep up my social life. She is the only one I really “hang out” with, and even that has been slim since she got married. I used to spend the night at her house every weekend, but at this point, I can’t remember the last time I spent the night at her house.

It dawned on me last night, that I have been staying away from people because it is too stressful for me. I pick up on people’s emotions, and that is super exhausting. I can’t handle people’s drama, it is too exhausting, because somehow I get sucked right in.

So being a loner is best for me right now. At least until I find the right tools to handle other people’s shit. I’ve tried grounding, I’ve tried mindfulness, but it hasn’t worked. I need to find a new tool to place in my arsenal. And I’m ok with that.


5 thoughts on “Revelations”

  1. On the one hand I’m sad you’re curling up alone in your cocoon. On the other hand I’m glad it’s a conscious choice to give yourself a break. I hope you don’t hibernate too long.

    1. I won’t. I just need time. I did go out to dinner last night with my BFF, it was nice to get out of the house, but I still wasn’t 100% “me”. I’m getting there though. Just gotta be kind to myself and I’ll be back to mingling again. 🙂

      1. Being kind to oneself can be difficult since we bear ourselves up so much, but I really think it’s the key component to recovery

  2. I have always felt that you have to be okay and accept yourself first before you can truly be that way with others. There is nothing wrong with wanting extended “me time.” So enjoy the peace that comes with solitude, perhaps you will be better able to hear your thoughts?

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