From time to time I have revelations about my life. And I made an important one last night. Apparently my subconscious is getting lonely and needed to figure out why.
It’s no secret I keep my circle of friends extra small. I heavily reply upon my BFF to keep up my social life. She is the only one I really “hang out” with, and even that has been slim since she got married. I used to spend the night at her house every weekend, but at this point, I can’t remember the last time I spent the night at her house.
It dawned on me last night, that I have been staying away from people because it is too stressful for me. I pick up on people’s emotions, and that is super exhausting. I can’t handle people’s drama, it is too exhausting, because somehow I get sucked right in.
So being a loner is best for me right now. At least until I find the right tools to handle other people’s shit. I’ve tried grounding, I’ve tried mindfulness, but it hasn’t worked. I need to find a new tool to place in my arsenal. And I’m ok with that.