Things are starting to slowly look up. Mood-wise I am better and my husband and I talked a little. (A little is better than not at all, right?)
I am really kind of tired today. Sleep was crap last night. I woke up for the first time ever not being able to breathe. I had my mask on, but the thing is, you have no choice but to breathe through your nose. It is impossible to breathe through your nose and your mouth at the same time, especially with air being forced down your nose. I apparently got too relaxed and my mouth opened. Kinda funny, but kinda not. So I came out to the couch about 3 this morning. I had logged 5 hours on my mask, so I slept on the couch without my mask and slept until 10 this morning.
I shared an article earlier about BP II and laziness. The article really made me feel better. Because really lazy is not a good word for it. I would call is slower pace. And my life is so much better at a slower pace. It is not so good when things get thrown in. I need a schedule and routine in order to not feel overwhelmed. At times it can be boring. But at least it is restful for the most part. Just when I think I am balancing the balls of bipolar, I start to rethink things. Second guess myself. I guess it is a viscous cycle.