The Way It Is

First thing first, dad came home from the hospital last night. Mom never gave me an “official diagnosis”, so I’m guessing it was just a lot of observation. He has an appointment with his cardiologist soon.

The past couple of days my mood has been “blue”. I’m still functional, so I am thankful for that. And I am still able to stay up til about 10pm. So, I’m not in a depressive episode, just kind of feeling blue. I’m unsure if I can say I’m still stable, I’d like to say that I am. but I’m not going to worry about classifications at the moment.

I have my appointment with sleep doctor tomorrow. They called today to remind me of my appointment. After I hung up I had wondered why I didn’t bother asking about this second letter of denial that I got in the mail after they supposedly faxed the correct information to the insurance company. So tomorrow I get to pay what I owe them ($104.00), ask them about this second letter I got, then see the doctor who is going to say “everything looks good. Lose weight. See you in 6 months.” I have to pay $80 for him to literally spend 2 minutes with me. I spend more time in the triage than I do with him. but, that is just the way it is.

I did manage to get my student loan bill in order. I called 3 collection agencies to track down my loan to make payment arrangements so we can actually get our tax refund this year. For the past several years, they have been taking our tax return to pay back the loan. Not something I’m proud of, but it is what it is. So now I’m on a payment plan. I only have $1000.00 to pay back, but it is going to take more than 19 payments (I can only pay $50 every two weeks). Maybe if we have enough of a refund I can just pay it off. But that is wishful thinking.

Good news is, I have been making good on making my bed everyday. Seems silly, but it is really important for me to see this through for some reason. I’ve also been getting some writing done. Yesterday I wrote 650 words. No writing today though.

And last good thing to report: I’m losing that holiday weight I put on. I’m so happy about that! I only have 6 more pounds to lose until I am pre-holiday weight. I really want to push myself into getting some walking in during the a.m.

I finished my book I was reading : Tales of the Peculiar I’m a huge fan of Ransom Riggs, even though he is a YA author. I have his whole series on the Peculiar Children. Anyway, now I am getting ready to read A Perfect Union of Contrary Things which is the biography of Maynard James Keenan, the front man for TOOL, A Perfect Circle, and Puscifer. I’m a fan of his, I think he writes some brilliantly deep lyrics. My husband gave me this book for Christmas. Should be interesting on two accounts 1) the print is very small which is going to make reading a little difficult even WITH my glasses and 2) it’s gotten a lot of mixed reviews, so I hope I’m not disappointed.

And that my friends, is the way it is.

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