When I was a kid, I was pretty resilient. I grew up in a military home, we moved every three years. Even though I was a pretty quiet kid, I did ok with making new friends. But now that I am in my 40’s I’m learning I’m not the resilient person I used to be.
My husband went on a job interview this past Monday. He went just for kicks, isn’t really looking for a new job, as things are going ok where he is currently employed. The interview (and the job) is in Cincinnati, which is an hour away from us, and as a side bar – HORRIBLE traffic on 275 it is a huge cluster-fuck. Anyway… He interviewed for an hour and a half. Things went well he felt.
He received an offer today $10 more on the hour of what he is making now for 4 months. After 4 months he would be hired on at 20k more than what he is making now. He said we will talk about it tonight as he needs to give a decision tomorrow. I highly doubt his current job will match that offer.
The possibility of a job switch alone is causing me anxiety. It doesn’t really affect me aside from him being gone a little longer during the week, and me worrying about him making the 1 hour commute every day there and back. But there was some talk about moving to be closer to work. Here we go again. We went though this during the summer, he was thinking of relocating to North Carolina for work. Uprooting everyone just causes me all kinds of anxiety. Moving to someplace new that I don’t know, no doctors that I know (I would have to get all new ones!), and just a bunch of other stuff.
I DO NOT want to impede on my husband furthering his career. But I also can’t help how this anxiety takes hold of me and shakes me around like a rag doll. Just the thought of having to discuss this tonight had me grabbing for my emergency anxiety meds. It doesn’t help matters that I wasn’t feeling 100% today to begin with.
I will support my husband with his decision. But I don’t know what I am supposed to do with all of these feelings.