Interesting

I came across an interesting thread over at BPHope. The question was: ….living with bipolar: do you perceive it as A) part of you, but not you. B) Everything you are.

You can see the thread here.

 

I thought it was an interesting question.

I think I find it to be everything I am. I mean, it is a huge part of me. And I can’t really say “here is the line: everything over here is bipolar and everything over here is me.”

I have always said “I’m Bipolar” but that offended so many people. Because so many people are of the mind that they HAVE bipolar but are NOT bipolar. I am curious as to how they find/define the line.

How would you answer?

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Interesting”

  1. Hi Iggy. I wrote a blog post a while ago on a very similar subject. My personal feeling is that I “have” bipolar disorder as an illness. I have to live with it and constantly take care of myself to help control it. I definitely feel that there is a ME that has nothing to do with a mental illness. For me, I think if I regarded myself as the mental illness, that I’d lose a lot of good things about myself.

    Hypomania (even at it’s best) has not been better than me stable at my best. Hypomania (and definitely full blown mania) is down right horrible at times. And who could possibly say that depression makes you. If people do, I don’t understand it.

    My psychiatrist told me once that mild hypomania was my “baseline” mood. I had to really think about it, but I felt that he was right about the majority of my life. I won’t say I disliked myself during those years (I had nice mild elation a lot), but still, I think the “essence” of me was not the hypomania.

    I actually have not had that baseline hypomania for quite a while now. My medication mix sort of prevents it. It took me a while to be at peace with the lower key me, but I am. To be honest, for quite a while I’ve felt a bit hypothymic instead of hyperthymic. Of course I don’t like hypothymia. I’d like to have more energy and motivation. I’d like to feel more productive again. The only hard part is finding that perfect balance and keeping it there. That’s the difficulty I find in having this blasted illness. The seesaw (or maybe you say the weight balance) isn’t perfectly level for long. Nevertheless, I keep going. I prevail in whatever way I can.

  2. There are the two camps – the ‘I have bipolar’ and the ‘I am bipolar’. I’m definitely one of the ‘I am bipolar’ people. I feel it, the illness and the medications with their side effects, define me on a day to day basis. The mere fact that we are governed by our moods speaks volumes. And for me, certain medications alter my personality. I am also all too often affected by the disability and limitations of bipolar. I am all too often not in control. It defines my life, and by default defines me. I know there’s a stigma within the community against this reasoning, but I stand firm, within my own experience

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s