You Just Never Know

In light of the recent news about Chris Cornell, I have to say, I feel horrible for him. To carry around that pain that is strong enough for you to want to end it all. And his wife said he was not depressed nor were there any signs of him being suicidal.

You just never know.

Once you carry around that pain, and you can’t take it anymore, you hide it. You hide it because you don’t want to be a burden. You hide it because you need to keep up appearances. You just never know what someone is REALLY feeling.

He was a family man, was married, had a foundation, was a literal rock star. Who knows what the reason was behind his decision. It must be painful for his wife and children. His wife must be wondering if there was something she could have done or said differently — then he would still be here. His kids are probably trying to grasp the fact that dad isn’t going to be around anymore. His friends must be kicking themselves for “not catching the signs”.

Most of us have felt suicidal. Many of have thought about ending it all. In that moment, we are only focused on us, ourselves, ending the pain and loneliness we feel. We don’t think about anyone else. The truth is, this personal decision doesn’t just affect the person deciding to take this way out, it affects their friends and family. Just like we carry around pain that we can’t bare anymore, the decision of ending it all transfers that exact pain onto other people. When people lose a loved one, it is a very painful experience. You never forget that pain. Some people carry that pain with them until they pass, for the remainder of their lives.

Just something to think about.

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4 thoughts on “You Just Never Know”

  1. Yes, I have thought about this very thing, and now I am glad I never succeeded at killing myself, and even on my worst days, I know this will pass, maybe not in the moment but it will pass soon. rip to chris. xx

  2. My heart goes out to the Cornell family. Its very tragic and heartbreaking.
    Others may not see the signs because we hide it so well but it is our responsibility to speak up even if our head are saying “no. keep it to yourself. Suffer alone”. I have struggled with suicide all of my life. 9 yrs old was my first attempt. But now I have learned when I get like that I always think of how my loved one’s would feel if they lost me and had to live without me, even with my illness and I think to myself that I would rather bare the pain than to put them through the pain I’m going through. I speak up. I just couldn’t do that to them. I would rather suffer than for them to suffer.

    1. I feel the same. Whenever I am having those thoughts, I think about my kids and how horrible it would be for them. I would rather writhe in pain then to have them go through it.

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