Having a mental illness is hard. It is especially more so when you are a woman. That is not to say we have it worse than men; this isn’t a pissing contest post. There is just more to untangle.
It is hard enough to track your moods and be vigilant of the next episode happening. Trying to discern why you are feeling the way you are; was there a trigger or is this just the illness? But throw in raging hormones to the web. Yeah. Fun times.
“Am I moody because I’m on my period? Or am I getting ready to have an episode that has been triggered by something? Or… is it happening just because it is my lucky day?”
Hormones are tricky things. There is no good accurate way to test hormones, because they fluctuate ALL. THE. TIME. Just like there is no way to test for so many things in this world. It is just one of those things that you have to learn to deal with or find a super-good-out-of-this-world doctor that knows their shit better than anyone. Those are true gems and usually very expensive and hard to get into see.
The ultimate goal when having a mental illness is to stay on top of it. Being able to predict what you are going to feel before you feel it so you are prepared. Knowing your triggers and keeping your eye open for new ones. It is a never ending process of keeping on eye open. It is exhausting to say the least.
Do your best. That is all we can ask of ourselves.