I’m still trying to keep myself busy. Still feeling better, no depression DAY 2!!! Hot damn, Stan!
I did dishes, a load of laundry, washed my hair, and made this:
I’m feeling better today… I think? I’m not depressed anyways. Now I just have to constantly be doing something. I can’t sit in one place for too long. Which is good? I’m just rolling with it. It is all I can do at this point.
So no one called me yesterday in regards to my visit to the nurse. But I DID get a call first thing this morning. Apparently it was decided that my Buspar should be increased from 10mg 3x a day to 15mg 3x a day. Hoping this makes a difference. I read a brief article that said anxiety can show up as anger, so I’m guessing it can show up as depression too? Because I’ve had no signs of anxiety. I’m willing to give it a try and see if it works. After all, I’m not in the medical profession and have no idea how to prescribe medication. Though the decision does have my interest piqued and I am going to ask about it when I see my nurse next month.
No walk today. The walk I took yesterday aggravated my arthritis in my back, and I am still in pain today. Took an NSAID and resting for the morning, but hoping to get some stuff done this afternoon.
Interesting… That DNA test I took? Come to find out, sleep issues are in my DNA as is being overweight. I also have the marker for Macular Degenerative Eye Disease. So… I can look forward to possibly going blind at some point in my life. Having a marker doesn’t mean I will get it for sure, but there is a good possibility I might. But I have muscles of an elite athlete! LOL
I was going to post just the free ones, but it got quite exhaustive. So, check out this article of 81 Awesome Mental Health Resources When You Can’t Afford Therapy
Well, I got my walk in. And then I had to reign it in because I felt my energy getting a little out of control. After I got home from my wallk, I lifted weights and did a load of laundry. Wanted to keep on going, but I felt it was too dangerous seeing how I’ve been unstable as it is. Too easy for it to switch in a second.
The walk aggravated the arthritis in my back. So I have had nagging pain all day so far.
It is noon-thirty and still no call from anyone at the clinic. I’m guessing they will probably call at the end of day.
I told my son he could have a friend over today, but only until 5. That means Bella will be in her cage barking the whole time. She doesn’t like new people and she can be very intimidating. It’s been raining off and on today so maybe the kid won’t come over after all. I’m just going to roll with it.
I haven’t forgotten that I promised I would post those mental health resources. Last night I was just too tired. I will do it tonight while the hockey game is on.
I went in the office and told my therapist I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t feel like talking about my feelings today. Of course, he is a therapist so he pries. Bottom line, I’m tired of being depressed. I’m tired of having no interest. I’m starting to eat everything in sight and my sleep has even started to be messed up (waking up all the time now throughout the night). Obviously the meds are not working. He agreed. Told me after my appointment with him to go see the nurse. Sure no problem. Then I fucking lost it. I just started crying. It came out of no where. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. That prompted him to email several people (the nurse, my psych nurse, the front desk, and his supervisor) letting them know I needed to see someone TODAY. I ended up seeing the nurse. She will talk to my psych nurse and someone will call me tomorrow and let me know what the plan of action is.
I was advised by my therapist to call my mom tonight, as she is my main support. I called, but she was at my nephews football game. I am also supposed to watch funny videos on youtube, because all the blogs I follow and all the support groups I am in is just too deep and heavy. Funny videos will give me a chance to laugh and not be consumed with serious stuff. And I am to FORCE myself to talk a walk tomorrow. He told me I’m not going to like it, and it might even wear me out, but I needed to do it. So… I gotta do what I gotta do.
That is how therapy went today.
I have therapy and I don’t want to go. I’ve got a few hours, I wish I could just call in sick today. LOL
I did come across a good list of FREE resources for people with mental illness, and I plan on sharing all those with you later tonight after dinner.