No, this is not a post about Game of Thrones, although I did steal a famous line from it. I don’t even watch it, but I’m educated by my husband and facebook on the important parts.
What I mean by Winter is depression. I feel it coming on. I’m starting to get sluggish and unmotivated and exhausted. But I’m trying to stay above it in hopes to avoid a crash.
I was fairly productive this morning; I went to the store and purchased some chlorine for the pool (i’ll get to the story behind that in a minute), I made my daughter’s eye appointment, and I emailed my husband about getting my truck into the shop this weekend. Yes, I chose to email him because I’ve been wanting to approach him about this all week, but have been too chicken shit to say anything, so I hid behind my email client to do it. At least it got done. Now I need to wash the pots and pans from dinner last night. They couldn’t fit in the dishwasher last night, as it was too full. So….
Now here is the story behind the chlorine purchase… *sigh*
As you know, I set up the pool a couple days ago. Yesterday my daughter and her friend spent ALL DAY (literally from 11 – 8:40pm). The friend was going underwater and opening her eyes. My daughter was NOT doing that. The friend had horribly red eyes from irritation (obviously — she was opening her eyes underwater EVERYTIME she went underwater, which was a lot). So last night her mom said she couldn’t play in the pool anymore until there was chlorine in it. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t she going to get red eyes even with chlorine in the pool and she continues to open her eyes underwater? *sigh* I am a hardened parent. I was soft with my first one, but after the second one got here, I toughened up. My motto is a little dirt isn’t going to hurt, and a little blood doesn’t constitute a band aide. Anyways, that kind of irritated me, because I didn’t put up my pool so it could sit for the rest of the summer. Shocked the pool when I got back from the store and put the chlorine in, and it will be ready for them to play in after they get back from the library today… IF the friend is allowed to lay in it.
I am perplexed. I checked the bank account this morning before going to the store to see if I had enough money to get chlorine. I noticed my husband transferred some money over from our savings, and then took 40 dollars out. I’m wondering why he did that when our son JUST GAVE HIM 90 dollars the night before last. So I am going to ask about that. And he didn’t deposit the 90, because I checked. My thought? He needs to make sure he has enough money for booze and gas. I am going to accept the feeling of irritability and let it pass through me, just like I learned in therapy. But now I am starting to re-think this process… if you just accept and move on, is that healthy? Shouldn’t you confront some feelings head on and get them out in the open? And if so, how do you determine which ones to pass through and which ones to confront? My mind gets the better of me sometimes… Overthinking at it’s finest.