Had a good therapy session, we covered quite a bit and I even had a break through!
Of course Cody was a little disappointed that I haven’t talked to my husband about his drinking, and after I told him my reasons. I realize my reasons are… unreasonable I guess. I can’t think of the word I want to use.
I learned a new tool. Stop Thinking I think is what it is called. The premise is to gain control of your thoughts. So for instance you are having a bad thought, like anxiety. So you think of a big stop sign to stop the feelings, and then you think of things that bring you comfort/peace. In my instance, the ocean. And you focus on your good thought until the bad thought goes away. I’m going to give it a try, especially tomorrow when we are traveling.
Speaking of traveling… my breakthrough was what caused me to have an irrational fear of traveling on the highway. It doesn’t help dissipate the thoughts, but comforting to know where it all stemmed from. For me, it was when we were traveling to New York. We were on the interstate, next to a semi-truck that was leaking fuel. We drove through diesel fuel, which, if you don’t know, is VERY slick. Slick as ice! That is what put fear in me. The uncertainty of the things that can happen on the highway. So, he offered up a form of immersion therapy, but he called it something else. So, when I can, go on the interstate, and get off at the first exit. Then when I am comfortable, make it two exits. And again, when I am comfortable, make it three exits, and so on and so forth. Sounds do-able.
We also talked about the upcoming function to the baseball game. I basically have to think my way through it and make myself as comfortable as possible.
There is a lot of mind over matter when it comes to mental illness. I have to learn how to re-think things and exercise my mind. I’m not going to lie, it is going to take awhile for me. It is difficult to recondition yourself. But I am going to put the work in.
The appointment after next we are going to go over my progress and see if I can just go to therapy one a month instead of every two weeks. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m happy going twice a month right now, but maybe that is more just being comfortable. I’ve got another month until we go over all of that, so we will see what happens.